The Preview

From far, everything just might look whatever they presented themselves to be. But close-up, there is always a little something that is just a little not quite right.

The amount of shocking facts about my new little ecosystem that I uncover every day is staggering. I suppose it is analogous to everything being seemingly fine whilst completely flawed from a closer inspection. Well then, all that is left for one to decide is whether they are capable of living with these flaws or alternatively taking actions to perfect things. But the real question is though, where do you draw the line, how high up is the threshold.

I know this is my attempt to convince myself not to initiate the thing I am thinking about initiating. Because just as any other thing, the preview of further development might seem enticing, the reality in harsh day light is probably not as ideal or to one’s satisfaction. At this point in life, you have made similar mistakes or misconstrued the pending situation many times before. Well, they say, you live and learn. But what have I learned so far, nothing, nada. It really does not make logical sense to repeat the same process once more, that would be the definition of insanity, right? Though, I wonder if the people or participants involved in the process make any difference at all, would they be the deciding factor of a positive outcome? Or, there will just be a slight variation, a subtle difference to what you went through last time, the ending might very well be exactly the same. Well, not exactly, you will be an older version of yourself, your emotion state would be where it was at after every previous similar process, your patience and faith would be wearing even thinner. Now, given the historical status that things will likely fall apart eventually, does it necessarily mean that you should just hop over this process altogether and spare yourself the subsequent heartaches? I honestly do not know. Humans are not as predictable as controllable machines. Hence the struggle I am going through right now. Wish the preview comes with a manual, but that might defeat the purpose of the general concept of a preview. Uncertainty is definitely the charm of life, sometimes, I guess. Well, let the chips fall, let the chips fall~~