Things that coexist with living

Now I really thought that I was done with man-children. Apparently, I was wrong.

Fully grown men who are, above all, fake, hypocritical, egocentric, avoiding real conversations at all cost, condescending, constantly pointing fingers without actually achieving or finalizing anything at all.

And guess what, they appear at all ages and in all shapes or forms. That, is the scariest part about it all.

But then again, I guess this is part of living. That you have to coexist with these types of pains. The way how human mind can sometimes be deeply framed is truly staggering. They tend to stay inside of their pre-existing boxes, accept all things as given without giving it a shred of thought, or assume that they know what they thought they knew. Anyway, I decided to keep an open mind, attempt to rewire my brain from time to time, such as, changing up the transfer stops for when I am taking the train (in hopes of finding a local optimum or running into fate). Since I closed all of my emotional exits already, I figured it was acceptable to try to do a little experiment on other aspects of mine.

It really is much easier to define a whole bunch of objects and build stuff from there. But then again, the elegance of vectorized operation is unparalleled in my crazy little head (that no one finds cute). Sort of like my epiphany from what I experienced today.

Side note though, what is up with people who lost their chill or even temper? And what’s up with people who block other people for no good reason at all? Sure, you can decisively stay out of contact, out of sight of some sort, but what is up with the restraining order though? You dislike or hate someone that much that you decided to surgically remove or carve someone out of your life by deliberately putting them on a blacklist? Difficult for me to comprehend, but I think of it as a behavior of immaturity or emotional instability. I could be wrong though. But then again, who is to define what is truly right and vice versa. It is all relativism at the end of the day.

Wonder if I would run into my fate in my long cold emotionless face and trench coat.

A bona fide romantic, I guess I am. Though I have come to the realization that perhaps I fell for the idea of a “nearly” (and hello, define “nearly”) perfect man rather than the man himself. Easy to pseudo analyze things though, much more difficult to emotionally believe so. Either way, safest exit route is to shut your emotions all together. The world is much more than this, and I just need to get over myself.

I played back “Pretty Woman” twice in the past couple of days and finally finally realized something. The movie was really about finding someone that is compatible enough to begin with, and Edward Lewis is a man who can change or at least someone who can change for the person he was willing to change himself for. That, just clicked in my head after all these years. Well, obviously you cannot change a man, so, best bet is that you find someone that you are happy enough with them just being who they are. If you are lucky enough, you could probably slightly alter them or they change themselves up a bit for you. Basically, the type of men in this movie does not exist (at least not in bulk) in real life. An astonishing, yet disappointing discovery on the movie, I have to say.

Remember how Emily Gilmore mentioned that she liked strong male names, Richard, John, Peter, etc. Truly wonder why I am drawn to the opposite of those, the somewhat flaky ones, like Christopher, Eric, Lucas, etc.

Well, enough soul-searching and psyching, night~